Workout: Today: nothing yet, other than lifting green tea repeatedly to my lips.
Yesterday: 2 hours elliptical
Tuesday: 1:45 elliptical
Monday: 2 hours elliptical
Sunday: 2 hours elliptical
Sense a pattern? After a few 50+ mile weeks, a hill workout last Wednesday, and a misbegotten 15 mile run on Christmas Eve, my feet went from “oh, that’s a bit sore” to “I have sharp pain when I put my heels down” on Christmas morning. So I wore heels. And headed to the elliptical for a few days in an attempt to be less stupid than normal with injuries.
I also haven’t posted in three months. Which I’m rather confident went unnoticed, because I don’t have any readers. But I’ve been doing some thinking over the past three months…like, a lot of thinking. Most of it was about Nazis and baked goods and Kim Kardashian’s weight fluctuations and “damn I wish I could sleep more” and “why am I in graduate school” and “why is it so freaking cold in Norcal” and “HOW ON EARTH do we explain Hugh Heifner’s proposal to Crystal Harris” and “I bet Holly is so pissed.”
But rather more importantly, I’ve been thinking about life, and happiness, and, peripherally, this blog. A year ago, my first semester of graduate school, I was spending two hours a day on the elliptical, vegan, militant about what I was eating, workaholic, single and happy about being in full control of my life. I was proud of how thin I was, proud of the control I had over my life, and generally quite content. Now, I’m 10 to 15 pounds heavier, a full-fledged meat eater/foodie, budding wine connoisseur, and in a relationship that makes me happier than I’ve ever been. I’m running 50+ miles per week (er, except this week), take days off just to drive to somewhere pretty and relax. My new body and I still aren’t sure what we think of each other. I miss walking into a bar or club or anywhere and knowing every girl in there is noticing me and admiring my control. I don’t feel attractive like I used to, but I feel healthy, and I guess that’s a start.
I’ve realized that Kate Moss’s infamous quote, “nothing tastes as good as being thin feels” is probably right, but it misses the point. It’s not about food so much as it’s about life. Because being able to enjoy life definitely tastes better than being thin feels.
Julia Roberts is spot on in Eat, Pray Love:
“I have no interest in being obese. I’m just through with the guilt.”
Deep thinkingly yours,
p
